What makes two people compatible? Plenty of dating sites, self-help books, and talk show hosts claim to know the answer, but the funny thing is that they all have different answers.
How do you explain it, though, when two people seem so completely compatible, and yet they're not? They understand and respect each other, share common views of the world, fill one another's needs, are comfortable being honest with one another, enjoy being physically close to each other, love spending time together, can talk all day long and not get tired of it, but for one person, something just isn't computing, and they can't figure out what it is.
A year ago, I would have answered this question by saying that the one person who isn't feeling it is probably just scared or doesn't realize their feelings. After reading, He's Just not that Into You, though, I learned that we can't make those kind of excuses for guys because usually all we're doing is luring ourselves into false hope that some guy wants to be with us when really he just wants sex. We have to accept that we're the rule, not the exception, right?
What if, though, I am the exception? What if this guy doesn't just want sex? What if he wants to hold me and take care of me and spend time with me and drive an hour and a half just to visit me and the sex card isn't even in the deck, let alone on the table? What if he's willing to agree to not kiss any other girls besides me, even though I'm not his girlfriend? What if he says he wishes things were different or that he wonders if maybe he does have feelings for me and doesn't recognize them? Does that change the rule? Does that mean that for once in my life it's perfectly acceptable for me to hold out hope that this guy is actually just confused or scared and really might want to be with me?
I have to confess, I have absolutely no idea. It's all a confusing mess in my head right now, and yet despite the chaos of it all, I'm strangely at peace. Perhaps my mind has deluded itself into some false sense of security that he'll change his mind, but if it is, it's entirely subconscious because I'm not expecting him to change his mind, though I thoroughly hope he does. Being with him is fun. I've done so many different things with him in one weekend that I'd never done with someone I was, for lack of a better term, dating ever before. The way he can understand my struggles and give me strength to face them just amazes me. He's supportive, affectionate, compassionate, funny, smart, open, honest, dependable, respectful, and the list could just go on and on, but I'll stop so you don't vomit from the cuteness.
The way we interact with each other, you would think we belong together, and yet we're somewhere in between the friends and dating marks on the spectrum of relationships. I wish either of us could understand what it is he's missing from me because the way we could love each other would be incredibly beautiful to behold.
How do you explain it, though, when two people seem so completely compatible, and yet they're not? They understand and respect each other, share common views of the world, fill one another's needs, are comfortable being honest with one another, enjoy being physically close to each other, love spending time together, can talk all day long and not get tired of it, but for one person, something just isn't computing, and they can't figure out what it is.
A year ago, I would have answered this question by saying that the one person who isn't feeling it is probably just scared or doesn't realize their feelings. After reading, He's Just not that Into You, though, I learned that we can't make those kind of excuses for guys because usually all we're doing is luring ourselves into false hope that some guy wants to be with us when really he just wants sex. We have to accept that we're the rule, not the exception, right?
What if, though, I am the exception? What if this guy doesn't just want sex? What if he wants to hold me and take care of me and spend time with me and drive an hour and a half just to visit me and the sex card isn't even in the deck, let alone on the table? What if he's willing to agree to not kiss any other girls besides me, even though I'm not his girlfriend? What if he says he wishes things were different or that he wonders if maybe he does have feelings for me and doesn't recognize them? Does that change the rule? Does that mean that for once in my life it's perfectly acceptable for me to hold out hope that this guy is actually just confused or scared and really might want to be with me?
I have to confess, I have absolutely no idea. It's all a confusing mess in my head right now, and yet despite the chaos of it all, I'm strangely at peace. Perhaps my mind has deluded itself into some false sense of security that he'll change his mind, but if it is, it's entirely subconscious because I'm not expecting him to change his mind, though I thoroughly hope he does. Being with him is fun. I've done so many different things with him in one weekend that I'd never done with someone I was, for lack of a better term, dating ever before. The way he can understand my struggles and give me strength to face them just amazes me. He's supportive, affectionate, compassionate, funny, smart, open, honest, dependable, respectful, and the list could just go on and on, but I'll stop so you don't vomit from the cuteness.
The way we interact with each other, you would think we belong together, and yet we're somewhere in between the friends and dating marks on the spectrum of relationships. I wish either of us could understand what it is he's missing from me because the way we could love each other would be incredibly beautiful to behold.
Comments
Post a Comment