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Priorities

Let's talk about them.

I understand that not everyone's priorities are the same as mine. I understand that people who work with me may not feel as strongly about my dreams and goals as I do. I understand that at some point decisions have to be made about whether good business practices or making people happy is more important. I understand that at some point in my life, I am going to have to choose where my loyalties lie and stop putting so many things on my plate to focus on the most important ones.

I don't understand why this summer people around me cannot seem to understand the importance of fulfilling their commitments. I don't understand why decisions are being made about my show without consulting me OR the producer in the name of good business. I don't understand why it is so hard for some people to make room in their schedule for things. I don't understand why I continually put up with so much frustration from trying to do all and be all instead of picking and choosing.

Maybe it's because right now, I don't feel like I'm entitled to pick and choose, like I need to take everything I can get and learn as much as possible while I can. Maybe I put up with people treating me badly because I'm scared that if I walk away, there won't be another place for me. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations of people, and thus I struggle to understand why camp or my show or whatever else isn't the biggest, most important thing in their life.

After all, it was my dream and not theirs. This is literally my entire life. If I could open a youth arts center and run programs like Journeys all the time, I would be entirely fulfilled and happy in my life no matter what relationships I did or did not have. My biggest priority is to improve the quality of life for children through theatre. That is my priority, and it's all I want to do every day of my life. I don't care if I'm not making lots of money. I don't care if it's hard to find a permanent job. I don't care if I have to spend most of the money I make on those children in order to reach them and encourage them to dream. None of those things matter to me because I know that as long as I am teaching children, watching them grow, making them feel important, I will be happy and well.

Adults are the ones with whom I tend to have problems.

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