Unwritten

From the first day that we met Our connection has been strong Two broken hearts needing mended, Two people searching for a new bond. In the darkness of the night, Whispered confessions left our lips Of the pain we felt, of the pain we caused, Of the secrets we kept in our hearts’ deepest crypts. From understanding grew affection. It was simple, easy, and true. When I reached out to hold your hand, You reached out to hold mine, too. But life had other plans, And we were hurled our separate ways To face injustice and remorse And the pain to just keep living every day. I thought of you so often, And the what ifs always found their way in As I sat by and watched you build A new life in which I could no longer live. All I had wanted was to save you, To be the one to make you smile, But instead I made everything worse And pushed you away across the many miles. But now, here you are. We’ve found each other again At a time in life when we’ve both lost our way A...

Tonight, I decided that being a young adult is like being stuck on a road in the middle of nowhere with a flat tire. Some of us have the spare tire, the end result, but no tools to change it. Others have the spare tire and the tools but never had anyone to teach them how to change it, so now they have to figure it out on their own. Some might not have the spare or the tools and their only hope of moving forward is to start the slow and steady journey on foot. Others have a cell phone that actually gets service in the middle of no where to call someone for help. I have realized that I am truly blessed because I have both the spare tire and a phone that gets reception that I can use to call my family or close friends to find someone who can bring me the tools I need. And usually they end up changing the tire for me, too, just because they know I've had a rough road lately.

As I sit here this morning, wondering how I could have possibly slept last night, watching my dog take in the world outside of my apartment, there is a lot on my mind. The last few days have been full of events that should majorly upset me and stress me out, and yet yesterday when I found myself crying into my pillow, none of those things seemed to be the reason my heart felt so heavy. "But I just can’t ignore my pathetic other side -- it’s so whiny and needy inside of me. I yearn for... human touch, God, it’s embarrassing, sometimes all I want is to be looked at, admired, soothed and caressed. I still want the power, I still want to make money and go mountaineering. But the thing I want most right now, God, Santa, Gloria Steinem, is some person to love me and sleep in my bed." - From The Most Massive Woman Wins That is what has been weighing on my heart lately. No matter what is going on in my life, it seems like I always come back to that, to wanting someone to love me....