Unwritten

Do you remember the first time you thought you were in love? I do. I remember it, and I will never forget it, and I have some really great stories from that 3 year relationship... that started when I was 13. I also remember the second time I thought I was in love. And the third. Those two relationships, not as many great stories. I am in love. Yes, in love with a guy. With Ben. For months now, I have been sort of shy about admitting it, but there it is. I'm throwing it out there. Who cares if the whole world knows? Ben knows! Go ahead and judge me upon the fact that I am in love with a guy who isn't even officially my boyfriend, with a guy who I was sort of with, then definitely with, then sort of with again, then broken up with, and am now sort of with again. Let me ask you, though, what makes you qualified to judge who I am in love with? There are so many factors of life that go into people's relationships, and the fact that we have this idea that relationships always ha...

Souza: "For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination." There are some things in life that are simply too beautiful for me to describe, and I like words (as I'm sure you have probably realized if you have ever read my blog before), so it's saying something if I can't find a way to describe it. So often lately, I find myself just observing the life that is around me: my life, the lives of others, the way they all intertwine, connect, mix, and alter each other. Two years ago, I would have sat back and observed life in much th...

Right now, I am lying in a hotel room bed in Waukesha, WI. I feel like I have done nothing but drive/ride in a car in the last two days, my eyes are burning from the constant attempts to suppress my tears and stay strong, and my stomach is relentlessly churning with the anxiety I am trying my hardest to control. The shock waves a person's death can make in the lives of people is incredible to me. Honestly, being on this side of the grieving process is very foreign to me. I am close to people who are hugely affected by John's death, but I didn't know him that well. But I am here... I am here for my brother and Lianne and the rest of their family just like all those people who have been there for me and my family during the loss of loved ones. I don't know how to respond or how to act. For someone who is so used to being on that side of grief that is the completely world-shattering, hole in my life kind of grief, the concept of being on the periphery of persons affected b...