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Attitude Adjustment

Growing up, I tended to be one of those people who let my moods and emotions control me. You know those people I'm talking about: your stereotypical high school drama queen who sobbed in the hallways because her boyfriend of like 4 months broke up with her, and he was a big fat jerk. Yep. That was me. I'm not really sure why, but it never occurred to me that I had the power to control, perhaps not my emotions, but the way I react to him. Maybe that was because I needed to be medicated to actually be able to do that, but nonetheless, I think I am starting to realize that.

Yesterday, I had a really tough day. There's so much going on with school work and my show and other commitments I've made, and it was all starting to pile on top of me. Combine that with my money being tight, being out of prints at the library, and my printer dying on me because it needed ink so badly, and I was suddenly set into an anxiety attack. Last night, I literally cried for about 3 hours. It was terrible. I felt sick and shaky, and I just couldn't stop crying. Finally, I calmed down, and I posted on my Facebook wall that I was determined to wake up and have a better day.

And you know what? I did. I woke up to an e-mail asking me if I could come in to work ASAP. I was sleepy, but none-the-less got up and went in, taking some homework with me. I actually accomplished the homework I wanted to while I was at work, will now be permanently be working more hours (which means more money for me, so no complaints), and the rehearsal schedule for my show has been rearranged so that I could potentially even go home this weekend if I wanted!

It's amazing how much a determination to persevere and be productive and not dwell on the stressful things can make a difference. Perhaps I should go to sleep every night with the same attitude. Let's see if it'll work for a second day.

Tomorrow, I will wake up and do my best to not dwell on the stressful things but be continuously productive and positive as I take life one thing at a time.

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