Unwritten

No, seriously. What am I doing? What am I doing allowing myself to backslide so far? Where has the girl gone who would rather stand on her own two feet even when the weight of living was causing her knees to buckle? Where has the girl gone who said she was off to defy gravity and any man who wanted to be in her life had better learn to fly? Where is she? But I tell myself I'm fine. I tell myself it will get better once this happens or that happens. I keep making plans and reaching toward the future praying that I find something to grab onto that I can use to pull myself up out of this awful place I've been in lately. The only thing that keeps me going is telling myself tomorrow will be better. I wouldn't say I have given up because that's not true. Mostly, I just feel... empty. When I'm with friends, I hardly talk, I hardly even think really... I'm just kind of there. The only thing that gets me to come out of that is being needed or having advice to give to...

Ever since I was a little girl, the one thing I can consistently remember wanting to do was make the world a better place. I was a Girl Scout, and I didn't just memorize the words to that Promise and Oath, I really believed in them. When I was in church, my favorite times were when I was actively doing something to improve the lives of others. Even now, I feel completely useless if I am not doing something to help others on their path. I spent hours recording books onto cassette tapes for Sheltering Wings. Once, I came up with this great idea to help raise money for cancer research that I still haven't given up on. The physical labor that I got the most out of are the times I was working for free at food banks and things like that. And today? Today, if I could I would spend my life running Journeys for free and directing in community theaters for free, and I would honestly be truly happy with my life. Right now, I am at a crossroads, and I can go one of two ways. Either I con...