Unwritten

When people meet me now, I think they assume I have always held the beliefs I have now, and I suppose on some fundamental level maybe I have. I have always believed in the power of love and the importance of working to make the world a better place, but those things used to look a lot different to me. When I was in high school, I was very religious. Actually, I don’t want to use the word religious because that implies there is something implicitly wrong with being religious, and there’s not. I know a lot of truly wonderful people who are also deeply religious. I guess maybe dogmatic is a better word? In high school, I said and did some pretty awful things in the name of religion. I told a new kid who transferred  to Avon that I didn’t care if he was gay, just don’t be gay in front of me. I joked with a friend about making and wearing anti-gay shirts to school. I used to use the word gay as an insult or the phrase, “she looks like a lesbian,” to describe someone’s personal styl...

I can talk all day about how incredible the SeneGence products are and how the science behind them is so cool, but we all know I have no problem spending money on good products, so why become a distributor and take on that added responsibility? Some of you may remember that several months ago, I wrote a really emotional blog post about leaving the theatre world and how ever since then I have struggled to find a place I fit in. In the last month or so, I began to realize that that feeling had nothing to do with “fitting in”. It was mostly about trust. Since I had left the theatre, I had not found a place where I felt safe and supported, where I felt like I could struggle and fail but also succeed, and people would treat me with the same respect and love. Don’t get me wrong, I love HKP, and the group of people I get to work with there is awesome, but corporate life is a major struggle for me. My ideas of what is fair and just, my need for flexibility in my day-to-day life just don’t ...

It has been a year and a half since I posted in here. That's crazy to me. On the one hand that feels like it was a lifetime ago, but on the other hand that doesn't really sound like much time at all. So I guess the question is why am I here tonight. Honestly, I'm not sure. Ever since I started using my CPAP to treat my sleep apnea, I guess maybe my brain has had the ability to do more than just make it through the day. That sounds super great... unless you have ADHD and when your brain doesn't have enough to occupy its need for activity it starts seeking amusement on its own. One of my brain's favorite games to play is: Is This Normal? It's a really interesting game where you start to dwell on things about yourself that seem to starkly contrast with people around you, and then you start to decide whether that thing is normal or if there is something wrong with you. Today my brain drew the card, "Inability to build meaningful relationships." It seems ...