I can talk all day about how incredible the SeneGence products are and how the science behind them is so cool, but we all know I have no problem spending money on good products, so why become a distributor and take on that added responsibility?
Some of you may remember that several months ago, I wrote a really emotional blog post about leaving the theatre world and how ever since then I have struggled to find a place I fit in. In the last month or so, I began to realize that that feeling had nothing to do with “fitting in”. It was mostly about trust. Since I had left the theatre, I had not found a place where I felt safe and supported, where I felt like I could struggle and fail but also succeed, and people would treat me with the same respect and love.
Don’t get me wrong, I love HKP, and the group of people I get to work with there is awesome, but corporate life is a major struggle for me. My ideas of what is fair and just, my need for flexibility in my day-to-day life just don’t mesh with probably any corporate office anywhere. Unlike maybe a lot of people, it’s also very hard for me to separate work life from non-work life. For me there isn’t like a, “These are my work friends and these are my FRIEND friends,” kind of a situation. If I am friends with you at work, I want to be a friend to you outside of work, too. While some of my co-workers developed those kinds of relationships, I just never did maybe because of how introverted I am or maybe because I went through a period when I was extremely unhappy and no one wanted to be around me or maybe because that’s just how life is – whatever the reason may be it leaves me feeling on the outside of things quite often.
At work a lot of times I feel like I am always sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop. What am I going to get reprimanded for next? Who can I trust to express my frustrations to? Who will care what I am frustrated about? Who is going to take what I say and tell someone else who tells someone else until everyone knows when really all I needed was just to vent to someone for a couple minutes and then I was fine? And if you are one of my co-workers reading this, please don’t take offense to any of it. Truly. It is just me. If I were a different person, I could keep all my negative feelings inside of me and never speak a word of them to anyone at work. If I were a different person, I wouldn’t be so afraid to open myself to people. If I were a different person, I wouldn’t be so emotional or have the kind of anxiety I do about things that happen at work.
But I’m not a different person. I am who I am.
And honestly? I don’t really want to change it. Sure maybe I would like it to be less of a high-thrill roller coaster and more like the Beastie at Kings Island, but I never ever want to stop caring. I never want to stop caring about being a good employee, a good co-worker, good at my job. I always want those things to matter to me very deeply. But at the same time, I was beginning to feel kind of suffocated, I guess is the best word.
And then Mackenna popped up in my Facebook messages one day and asked me if I might want to be a distributor. Honestly, I have no idea what made me say yes to Mackenna. Until she asked, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. Between work, the campaign, and Thirty-One I considered myself pretty busy. For some reason, though, she made the offer and I took the leap. Call it fate or a higher plan or whatever you want, but at this point I really believe I was meant to say yes that day.
Listen, this is about so much more than making money or getting discounted product for me now. My whole life I have wanted to make a difference, and I think anyone who has known me for awhile will tell you that’s not a surprise, that more than anything else my desire to improve the lives of others is what gets me up in the morning. It is why I started and ran my theatre camps, why I worked in retail at Lane Bryant, why I am working on a political campaign, and really why I have become some passionate about working in affordable housing. Above all my selfish and superficial compulsions, I want to help people live happier lives.
In just a couple of short weeks, that is what SeneGence has done for me. I was kind of hurled head first into this very active SeneGence team full of women who just like... love each other so much. They support one another not just in their business but in life in general. I felt like I could chat with them and just be myself and no one cared if I had spent 20 minutes crying in a bathroom stall that day. No one gave me that look of pity because they all know where I’m coming from. None of us felt like we truly fit in in a traditional job for one reason or another. Many of us had the same feeling of not having a close group of female friends. We all ended up at SeneGence for a reason.
The best part of all of it though is that now I get to take SeneGence and use it to help other women. More than anything that is what I want out of my business – to help all of you face and overcome your biggest insecurities. If it is skin or makeup related and I can help you with products, then that is great! But if joining me on this journey can help you find your place, build your confidence, or take you toward a goal that is going to bring you joy and fulfillment, then that is amazing to me! I am here to change lives and make a difference, that is my purpose and my why. What’s yours?
Some of you may remember that several months ago, I wrote a really emotional blog post about leaving the theatre world and how ever since then I have struggled to find a place I fit in. In the last month or so, I began to realize that that feeling had nothing to do with “fitting in”. It was mostly about trust. Since I had left the theatre, I had not found a place where I felt safe and supported, where I felt like I could struggle and fail but also succeed, and people would treat me with the same respect and love.
Don’t get me wrong, I love HKP, and the group of people I get to work with there is awesome, but corporate life is a major struggle for me. My ideas of what is fair and just, my need for flexibility in my day-to-day life just don’t mesh with probably any corporate office anywhere. Unlike maybe a lot of people, it’s also very hard for me to separate work life from non-work life. For me there isn’t like a, “These are my work friends and these are my FRIEND friends,” kind of a situation. If I am friends with you at work, I want to be a friend to you outside of work, too. While some of my co-workers developed those kinds of relationships, I just never did maybe because of how introverted I am or maybe because I went through a period when I was extremely unhappy and no one wanted to be around me or maybe because that’s just how life is – whatever the reason may be it leaves me feeling on the outside of things quite often.
At work a lot of times I feel like I am always sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop. What am I going to get reprimanded for next? Who can I trust to express my frustrations to? Who will care what I am frustrated about? Who is going to take what I say and tell someone else who tells someone else until everyone knows when really all I needed was just to vent to someone for a couple minutes and then I was fine? And if you are one of my co-workers reading this, please don’t take offense to any of it. Truly. It is just me. If I were a different person, I could keep all my negative feelings inside of me and never speak a word of them to anyone at work. If I were a different person, I wouldn’t be so afraid to open myself to people. If I were a different person, I wouldn’t be so emotional or have the kind of anxiety I do about things that happen at work.
But I’m not a different person. I am who I am.
And honestly? I don’t really want to change it. Sure maybe I would like it to be less of a high-thrill roller coaster and more like the Beastie at Kings Island, but I never ever want to stop caring. I never want to stop caring about being a good employee, a good co-worker, good at my job. I always want those things to matter to me very deeply. But at the same time, I was beginning to feel kind of suffocated, I guess is the best word.
And then Mackenna popped up in my Facebook messages one day and asked me if I might want to be a distributor. Honestly, I have no idea what made me say yes to Mackenna. Until she asked, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. Between work, the campaign, and Thirty-One I considered myself pretty busy. For some reason, though, she made the offer and I took the leap. Call it fate or a higher plan or whatever you want, but at this point I really believe I was meant to say yes that day.
Listen, this is about so much more than making money or getting discounted product for me now. My whole life I have wanted to make a difference, and I think anyone who has known me for awhile will tell you that’s not a surprise, that more than anything else my desire to improve the lives of others is what gets me up in the morning. It is why I started and ran my theatre camps, why I worked in retail at Lane Bryant, why I am working on a political campaign, and really why I have become some passionate about working in affordable housing. Above all my selfish and superficial compulsions, I want to help people live happier lives.
In just a couple of short weeks, that is what SeneGence has done for me. I was kind of hurled head first into this very active SeneGence team full of women who just like... love each other so much. They support one another not just in their business but in life in general. I felt like I could chat with them and just be myself and no one cared if I had spent 20 minutes crying in a bathroom stall that day. No one gave me that look of pity because they all know where I’m coming from. None of us felt like we truly fit in in a traditional job for one reason or another. Many of us had the same feeling of not having a close group of female friends. We all ended up at SeneGence for a reason.
The best part of all of it though is that now I get to take SeneGence and use it to help other women. More than anything that is what I want out of my business – to help all of you face and overcome your biggest insecurities. If it is skin or makeup related and I can help you with products, then that is great! But if joining me on this journey can help you find your place, build your confidence, or take you toward a goal that is going to bring you joy and fulfillment, then that is amazing to me! I am here to change lives and make a difference, that is my purpose and my why. What’s yours?
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