Unwritten

I am a dreamer. I always have been. It's both a blessing and a curse. It's great that I can come up with these beautiful, big ideas about which few others would dare to dream. I think it's awesome that I have goals like making the world a better place and changing someone's life, and that I feel perfectly capable of achieving them. Most the time, I think that I'm very lucky to be a romantic who hasn't lost her hope, one who still believes in fairy tale loves, happily ever afters, soul mates, and the undeniable power of love to overcome any and all other forces. Being a dreamer, though, also has its downside, especially in relationships: disappointment and a willingness to compromise your standards in pursuit of your lofty ideals of romance and love. I also have a tendency to settle for something less than I deserve while convincing myself it's perfect. As long as he says he loves me, I tell myself it doesn't matter if he's not everything I want and n...

Right, so, I'm sort of just... chilling at the moment. So, I thought, why not post a blog?! I really should do it more often anyway. Hmm ... what's new in my life? I guess a big thing that's new is that I'm trying to get help. Some of you may be wondering with what I need help. Others of you probably know exactly what it is, and you are, hopefully, very proud of me; I'm very proud of me. Let me elaborate. I always knew I was a bit crazy. No, really, I was. There are times in my life that I look back on and wonder who that person was because it certainly wasn't me. I've always considered myself a compassionate, smart, driven person. So, when I look back on times where I was absolutely horrible to people or blew off school or gave up trying, I have to wonder what happened. Now, I've finally come to terms with the fact that I struggle with anxiety and depression. The depression I've acknowledged in the past, but that's what it was to me, something i...

Oh hey blog! How the heck are ya doin? Apparently, I haven't updated this thing since January 6. That was a long time ago. I feel like I've grown up about five years since then. Of course, that may just be because it seems like this semester has been five years long. The past five months have been the hardest, most frustrating, craziest months of my life, and yet as I sit here, I feel oddly fulfilled and accomplished. I still have to get through two finals on Friday, but other than that, I'm finished. And that feels so weird to me. I can't quite comprehend it yet, you know? I'm still laying here thinking about school, and I'm not feeling that usual contentment one feels at the end of a semester. For awhile, I wasn't sure how I would survive. I suffered silently in my room, spending my spare time in my bed crying. It was hard to keep moving forward. So many times I felt like just giving up and finding another way to do what I wanted to do. Then I would get on...