Skip to main content

On to Bigger and Better Things

Well, the weekend is over, and oddly enough, I'm glad for it. My show closed yesterday (The Wedding Singer at Footlite Musicals). Usually when the end of a show comes around, I get really depressed and lonely, but I'm honestly happy that it's over. It was an awesome show! Easily one of the best shows I've been in. I just, I don't know. I didn't really feel like I connected with anyone in the cast. I mean, it was nice to get to spend all that time with my best friend Tim, but in a way I feel like we sort of grew apart because he did connect with people. Plus the show just took soooo much energy. My body definitely took a beating during this show. I'm not sure that I'll be doing many more musicals in my life. I love musicals, but I don't think I'm cut out for them. I also think I'd be happier sticking to plays... acting is more my strong point.

So, now what? Camp is over, Wedding Singer is over... the last month of summer is sitting in front of me completely empty. It's weird. I've grown so accustomed to doing HCT's summer show and it not being over until August and then having maybe a week before I go back to school. This year, though, I have 30 days before I move in to Ball State. That seems like a long time, but I know it won't be. Before I know it, I'll be packing my car and saying goodbye. It's odd, the way I feel. It's sort of extreme excitement mixed with absolute terror. I imagine it's similar to how one would feel before sky diving. Maybe this feeling is better than how I felt last year, which was just pure excitement and a longing to be somewhere that I was going to belong. Obviously, that feeling deceived me, so maybe being scared is better.

I can do it. I know I can do it this time. Now that I know what to expect, now that I'm prepared for the feeling of leaving everyone behind and their lives going on while I have to start completely over, I think I'm ready. No, I know I'm ready.

"I thought home was all I'd ever want.
My attic, all I'd ever need.
Now nothing feels the way it was before,
And I don't know how to proceed.
I only know I'm meant for something more.
I've got to know if I can be...
Astonishing.

There's a life
That I am meant to lead,
A life like nothing I have known.
I can feel it,
And it's far from here.
I've got to find it on my own.
Even now I feel it's heat upon my skin:
A life of passion that pulls me from within,
A life that I am aching to begin.
There must be somewhere I can be...
Astonishing!

I'll find my way.
I'll find it far away.
I'll find it in unexpected and unknown.
I'll find my life in my own way,
Today.

Here I go,
And there's no turning back.
My great adventure has begun.
I may be small,
But I've got giant plans
To shine as brightly as the sun.

I will blaze until I find my time and place.
I will be fearless,
Surrendering modesty and grace.
I will not disappear without a trace.
I'll shout and start a riot,
Be anything but quiet.
Christopher Columbus!
I'll be Astonishing...
At Last!"

-"Astonishing" from Little Women

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Love Monologue from the movie Stardust

Yvaine: You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it; I've seen centuries and centuries of it. It's the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All the wars, pain, lies, and hate, made me want to turn away and never look down again. But to see the way that mankind loves! I mean you could search the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So, yes I know that love is unconditional, but I also know it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable, and strangely easy to mistake for loathing. And, well, what I'm trying to say, Tristan, is.. I think I love you. My heart it feels like my chest can barely contain it, like it doesn't belong to me anymore; it belongs to you, and if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange: no gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion, nothing, but knowing you love me, too. Just your heart in exchange for min...
7 comments
Read more

Why Lent?

Earlier today, I tweeted something about Lent, and then I decided that my impression of this tradition is far too complicated to confine to tweets. Essentially, I do not understand the point of Lent the way that most people choose to celebrate it. I get the basics of it, you give up something for 40 days because Jesus wandered the desert for 40 days while fasting, and you want to show Him your love and devotion by giving up something of yours for Him. Here's the thing, though, after those 40 days, Jesus went out and began His ministry. His 40 days of fasting were in preparation for Him to give His life to the salvation of the world. The idea behind Lent is that if you give up these things that we don't realize we spend so much time doing, you can then devote that time and energy to God through service, prayer, devotional time, etc. Lent is supposed to be a time where you not just make a sacrifice of something you like but where you spend time reestablishing your connection with...
2 comments
Read more

Monologue: Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, I was the happiest I would ever be, though at the time I didn’t know it. I had three of the best friends in the world: Alex, Lauren, and Kristin. I also had the best boyfriend I could have hoped for. His name was Kevin. Life was pretty magical that last year of high school. I had friends I wanted to be friends with for the rest of my life, I had a boyfriend girls would have given anything for, and it seemed almost certain that life would continue to be incredible for years to come. Life had other plans though, and it changed abruptly when I started college. I broke up with Kevin in a daze of insanity when I first got to college. To this day, I couldn’t tell you exactly why. All I remember is feeling lost and alone, and there was this boy there at school who seemed like he really wanted to be with me. Turned out he didn’t, and Kevin ended up moving on, and I ended up throwing away something wonderful. Kristin… has changed in these first couple of years I’ve bee...
Post a Comment
Read more