It is simply incredible to me how much a person can change in one year of his or her life. I mean, if you don't believe me, scroll back in this blog to a year ago and start reading. Sure, I still struggle today with some of the same things I struggled with a year ago, but I am a different person. This time last year, I was crying myself to sleep every night, feeling scared and trapped and wanting to be at home where life was comfortable. Tonight, though, the best word I can use to describe my current state is empowered.
They say that knowledge is power, but I think that a lot of people consider this phrase in far too narrow of a context. I don't think it's referring simply to the kind of knowledge you get from reading books or performing scientific experiments because there's a kind of knowledge that is far more powerful, and that is the knowledge you gain through experience and self-reflection. By taking time to just step back for a bit and consider how different I am now from a year ago, I can see how much I have grown. Take that back even two years ago? The difference is staggering.
Tonight, I sat down and did a 22 page reading assignment at 10:00 at night, something I never would have been able to accomplish a year ago. When I closed that book, I was so proud of myself. I know to some people that may seem insignificant, but to me it was a huge victory. I have always been smart, and I no longer feel bad admitting it, but my intelligence has always allowed me to skate by for the most part (well, that and my uncanny ability to communicate with teachers). I never really challenged myself, though, because at the time I didn’t think I could succeed, but now I recognize it was because I just literally did not know how to do my work.
Until this summer, I always felt like there was this driven, hard-working, extremely successful student just stuck inside of me, and I wanted so badly to be able to be that person. I never understood why I couldn’t be her, why I couldn’t just sit down and do my reading assignment or why I always waited until the last minute to do things even when I planned not to. Now, I look at all my reading assignments, and even though it feels a bit overwhelming, I don’t give up or procrastinate, I just sit down and start marking things off my list.
This semester is going to be a challenge, but instead of being scared of it or nervous about it, I’m just really excited.
It’s a beautiful thing to lie in bed and realize you’re the person you always knew you had inside of you.
They say that knowledge is power, but I think that a lot of people consider this phrase in far too narrow of a context. I don't think it's referring simply to the kind of knowledge you get from reading books or performing scientific experiments because there's a kind of knowledge that is far more powerful, and that is the knowledge you gain through experience and self-reflection. By taking time to just step back for a bit and consider how different I am now from a year ago, I can see how much I have grown. Take that back even two years ago? The difference is staggering.
Tonight, I sat down and did a 22 page reading assignment at 10:00 at night, something I never would have been able to accomplish a year ago. When I closed that book, I was so proud of myself. I know to some people that may seem insignificant, but to me it was a huge victory. I have always been smart, and I no longer feel bad admitting it, but my intelligence has always allowed me to skate by for the most part (well, that and my uncanny ability to communicate with teachers). I never really challenged myself, though, because at the time I didn’t think I could succeed, but now I recognize it was because I just literally did not know how to do my work.
Until this summer, I always felt like there was this driven, hard-working, extremely successful student just stuck inside of me, and I wanted so badly to be able to be that person. I never understood why I couldn’t be her, why I couldn’t just sit down and do my reading assignment or why I always waited until the last minute to do things even when I planned not to. Now, I look at all my reading assignments, and even though it feels a bit overwhelming, I don’t give up or procrastinate, I just sit down and start marking things off my list.
This semester is going to be a challenge, but instead of being scared of it or nervous about it, I’m just really excited.
It’s a beautiful thing to lie in bed and realize you’re the person you always knew you had inside of you.
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